Touched Enough To Speak

If Jesus Can Learn...so can we

2011-08-14T20:17:00.001-04:00

Tough texts, hard times, let those who would hear listen...

August 14, 2011 First Presbyterian Church of Newtown, Queens NY
Matthew 15:10-28

“If Jesus Can Learn…(then so can we)”

“ “Peace, be still”, we use your words that calmed the sea. May our
hearts hear these words and be willing and ready to learn from
your word. And trusting in your grace to guide us, we ask one more
thing: may the words of my mouth and the meditation of all of
our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord our strength and
our Redeemer. Amen.”

Growing up, I was a picky, picky eater. As I get older I find that I am more adventurous with the foods that I eat. I must say, I am glad that I can at least taste everything on my plate for sometimes I am extremely surprised and delighted by the delicacies placed before me. So to the young people I say, there are foods you many insist that you will never eat just stay open to the idea that one day you may actually like brussel sprouts. I am that way with oysters. If you would have told me when I was younger that I would love oysters, I would have thought you were crazy. And now I find that within the past week, I have had oysters twice!

But there are a few things that I have tried that I just can’t bring myself to eat. My mother says, “Good. If you don’t eat it there’s more for me!” The two things that stand out the most that I can honestly say I don’t eat are chitlins and pigs feet. The key to cooking a good pot of chitlins is to clean them really, really well. Today you can buy them in a bucket already cleaned but you should still clean them again anyway. Chitlins, spelled c-h-i-t-t-e-r-l-i-n-g-s but pronounced “chitt-lins” are pig intestines. I usually leave the house when these are being prepared, I just can’t take the smell.
May I can’t eat them because I have distinct memories of chitlins mishaps. Actually the same mishap happened twice, once with my mother and once with my father. They both prefer to cook their chitlins in a pressure cooker. They would clean the chitlins and season them and lock the top of the cooker by twisting it until the handles on the lid and the pot lined up and clicked. That click ensured that the rubber seal was in place so that the pressure would mount up. As soon as the steam start to come out of the little nozzle on top of the lid they would place a little top on it that would start to shake and rattle as the pressure mounted. But do you know what happens when you don’t check the rubber seal before you start cooking? I do. The pot explodes open sounding like a explosion from a small piece of dynamite. Well can you imagine what happens when the pot explodes that is full of chitlins? Both times we ran into the kitchen to see what happened only to find splattered intestines all over the ceiling, hanging there like stalactites in an underground cave. If I didn’t like chitlins before, I just can’t bring myself to even think having them with that image in my head.

And pigs’ feet…I’ve seen stewed pigs’ feet, pickled pigs feet, grilled pigs’ feet and even barbecued pigs feet. I’ve dutifully tasted them when they were on my plate. For one thing, it’s just too much work for too little food for me. But I must be honest, I have an image in my head of the pig wallowing around in the mud and whatever else. And although I have seen pigs feet before they are cooked clean as can be, I still have a prejudice against them. I stereotype pigs’ feet as food we had to eat because we were so poor. I was ashamed of being poor when I was growing up. And maybe part of me was just being a little rebellious in not wanting to eat what seemed like the leftover part of the pig; intestines and feet.

What is interesting about that is that it feeds into a self-hatred and self-shame about who I am and what I had to go through to become who I am. I bought into the prejudices people have about the poor. And so every time I saw pigs’ feet and chitlins, I felt poor. But that is not uncommon. It is not uncommon to judge people and their level of sophistication by the food they eat. As a matter of fact it is a common misperception many of us have about people but it is an accepted prejudice that is rarely questioned. One thing I have noticed as I have gotten older and more experienced in the culinary arts, is that one poor man’s food is another’s delicacy. Imagine my surprise when I walked into a restaurant and saw on the menu “Braised Pork Belly and Pig Intestines”. It was then I realized that I had been harboring this self-hatred and shame of my poverty so deep in my heart. Strangely enough, it was freeing to remove that from my heart and helped me to live more in accordance with Jesus command, “Love God, love your neighbor as yourself.” I had learned to love myself and now was free to love my neighbor allowing me to love God more and more.

Strangely enough, I have not really strayed all that far from the Gospel lesson from today. It is all about eating, things unclean, stereotypes, prejudice and overcoming prejudices. But you know what I can’t get over about lectionary readings in the Gospel of Matthew for the past few weeks? I can’t stop thinking about the human side of Jesus. After all, he came to earth in human form and died for us so that we might live in grace, have it more abundantly.

For the past three weeks, our gospel lesson included in it somewhere or another that Jesus is trying to find a moment to be alone. In the linear time of our scripture, Jesus has only recently heard that his cousin John has been killed, beheaded. Not only is he grieving for his cousin, but he is now on his own with no “voice crying in the wilderness” to announce his arrival. It must have been a lonely time for Jesus. It must have been a hard time. First he tries to get away on boat and grieve as humans do, to be alone with their thoughts and memories. But the crowds follow him and he has compassion and begins to heal ending with the feeding of more than 5000 people. Then he sends the disciples to cross the waters on a boat so that he could spend some time alone in the mountains praying. But the stormy seas rise and batters the boat in which the disciples travel and Jesus comes to them walking on water. And then he heals again, and again, and again. And today, we find Jesus the man attacked by the Pharisees having to answer their attacks and explaining to them about the things that truly defile. And in the middle of our text he goes where he shouldn’t be bothered. He goes into Tyre and Sidon where he should be able to rest, pray and grieve and is immediately summoned by the Canaanite woman. For the savior this series of events is nothing more that what must be done to bring the realm of God to the people. But can you imagine how tired, sad and maybe aggravated you might be. And I urge you all to go home and read the rest of Matthew 15. For you will see the pattern is repeated. Jesus goes to the mountain and the crowds come to him for healing once again, and once again he feeds a multitude of over 4000 people.

As we journey through Matthew, I just wanted us to remember the series of events that lead us up to our text today. If we keep in mind the humanity and the godliness of Jesus existing simultaneously then our Gospel text today can be read from two perspectives. In the first pericope of our text, Jesus gives an explanation of the things that defile. It is in direct response to the criticism of the Pharisees who have asked him, “Why do you and your disciples eat without washing your hands?” It is not a law, but a tradition of the elders. Churches can certainly understand this issue. Often when we asked to do something new or engage in a new ministry the response is, “But we have always done it this way…” But we must challenge ourselves as Jesus challenged the Pharisees. He points out that the tradition of the elders seems to have more importance than the laws of God. He says, “So, for the sake of tradition you make void the word of God.” We must always be diligent in our churches that we do not make void the word of God for the sake of tradition.

Jesus goes on to make it plain for the people. “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it what comes out of the mouth that defiles.” And good old Peter ever worried about appearances pulls Jesus aside and says, ‘Don’t you know you offended the Pharisees?’ after all Jesus did call them hypocrites as well. The very human Jesus brushes Peter off, “Let the blind lead the blind, they will both fall in the pit.” As we know from a close reading of just chapters 14 and 15 of Matthew, there’s too much of God’s work to do to worry about what people think. Peter, still not understanding asks Jesus to explain. The human Jesus snaps, “Are you also still without understanding?” But even through his shortness with Peter, he answers with divine understanding. ‘Whatever we put in our mouths passes through our system and cannot defile.’ Jesus wants the people and us to be more concerned with getting our hearts right than worrying about what’s clean to eat. For it is what comes out of the mouth is generated from the heart, the very core of our being. And it is these things with defile not only our bodies but our very souls. You see it wasn’t the pigs’ feet and chitlins that I had to worry about but the self-hatred and self-shame of my own poverty that kept me from loving who God made me to be. I had to worry about the judgments I made about why people eat certain foods and any meaning I associate with their lifestyle. I had to worry about the things that came from my heart and out of my lips that put me further and further away from God.

Jesus lists those things in this scripture as evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are things that are done on purpose or unconsciously. We must be in constant prayer asking God to reveal our hearts to us, whether it be in our prayer closet or on a therapists couch. We may not want to admit the times when we have evil intentions but we can pray for them to go away. We may not kill someone but we shut them out of our hearts essentially murdering so that we don’t have to forgive. We may not be physical adulterers or fornicators but what are those things that distract us from those we love? Who or what do we put before God or family? And you don’t have to break into my house to steal from me. For you can diminish my humanity with one act of unkindness. And false witness and slander, there is not much more to say about that…lying is lying. Yes, the divine Jesus reads our souls today as he did in our text. He reads it like a magazine on the rack at the register at the supermarket. He reads it, takes it in and puts it back on the rack. But because of grace, when we live with God’s amazing grace he can read that magazine, take it in and purchases it with his own blood knowing that the headlines don’t tell the whole story.

And I’ve saved the hardest part of the text for last. The lectionary gives us an option to only read this portion of the text today. But I believe that this encounter with the Canaanite woman is a living example of what Jesus speaks about in verses 10-20. Why is this part of the text the hardest? I believe it is the hardest because it is the most bitter pill we have to swallow in understanding Jesus humanity. No matter how you look at it, Jesus insults this woman asking for mercy. We have to face the fact that he strongly insinuates that she and people are dogs. Wow…Jesus, tired, frustrated, grieving acts the way we act and that is just not comfortable to see. But before we jump to conclusions let’s just examine the situation for just a moment.
Earlier we said that Jesus went into Tyre and Sidon where he should be able to rest and pray. We also know this port city as home to the Syro-Phonecians. It is the land of the Canaanites, the longstanding enemies of Israel. And this is why in verse 24 Jesus says, again to his disciples “I was sent only for the lost sheep of Israel” But in a literal translation of the text, Jesus says he comes for the “sheep of the destroyed house of Israel”. The verb appoluota is the Greek word that is often translated as lost, but it true translation is lost or destroyed.

How often we forget that the human Jesus is oppressed. That is something we cannot lose sight of when we look at the power of the ministry of Jesus. He belongs to a people that have seen the slave side of the whip for a large part of their history. He belongs to a people who believe that a Savior is coming to break them free of Roman rule. He belongs to a people who must bank on being God’s chosen in order see any light at the end of the tunnel. So yes, at this point in his ministry Jesus is concerned with the salvation of his people. In the writing of the history of our own slave experience as African Americans, the general tone is that we were so magnanimous that we not only wanted freedom but that we wanted the spiritual freedom of our tormentors just as much. But Harriet Tubman carried a gun and would shoot you before she’d let you slow down the group and risk being caught. Harriet Tubman never made it a part of efforts to go back down south and “do a meeting” with the slave owners to discuss the how their souls were in danger because of slavery. You never read that Harriet Tubman brought anyone but her people through to freedom. We’re talking about a Harriet Tubman kind of Jesus today.

What of this Canaanite woman? This woman, an enemy to the Jews, finds the boldness to go into the enemy’s camp and take her victory. She has a mother love that tears her away from her possessed daughter simply because she has heard, “That there is this man name Jesus . . .” While Jesus is preaching, teaching and healing in his own land he is still convincing his own people that he has been sent by God. And yet this woman who has only heard, “That there is this man named Jesus . . .” Comes to Jesus understanding the truth. When she sees, this man named Jesus, she shouts to him, “Have mercy on me Lord, Son of David.” By calling Jesus lord she worships him, gives him honor and declares herself bound to him. By calling him Son of David, she has thrown away her own beliefs and called upon him as the Messiah. She sees him as the promised ones of the scriptures studied by her enemies. Adrienne Rich has said, “When a woman tells the truth, she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.”

The man named Jesus stops and engages with this woman and learns from her a truth that brings him just a step closer to his divine purpose. I tend to believe that this is how Jesus came to say, “And you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” The divine Jesus is not only beholden to the freeing of his people. But the human Jesus is also trapped by their prejudices, their hatreds, trapped in how their hurt looks for the other to put down and denigrate. There is no escaping that Jesus has insulted this woman. But the point is that Jesus does engage her. Jesus does stop to listen. Jesus stops and is suddenly presented with an opportunity to change. It is a Canaanite woman who goes against all convention by coming to Jesus for a healing in the first place, that starts to define the ministry of Jesus as a ministry for all. What is at the heart of this cultural insult? What truly lies beneath the painful phrase? Like most anger, it is triggered by hurt. And like us, when we hurt, the tendency is to find someone who is hurting a little more and lash out at them. That’s what being human does to our spirit. But it seems to me that like Jesus we can learn to overcome. Like Jesus we can find a moment to hear the truth from the most unlikely of sources. If Jesus can learn…then so can we. Yes this text is problematic but the question remains, just what is the good news, what is the truth?

The good news is that Jesus breaks free of the smallness of the human mind. Jesus embraces that his ministry is for all human kind. Jesus understands that there is no restriction on God’s blessing. Through Jesus we see that the greatest faith comes from the most unlikely places. And that faith is to be glorified. That faith is what is required of all of us. Just last week we saw what happened when Peter lost faith. He sank in his disbelief when he tried to walk on water. This week we see a woman, a Canaanite woman, walking a journey of faith to get a healing for her daughter. She did not falter, she did not faint. It was her faith that saw her through. Peter’s lack of faith made him cry out in desperation, “Lord, save me!” But this unnamed woman’s faith made her cry out in anticipation, “Lord, have mercy on me.”

In this encounter with the Canaanite woman Jesus responds at first with what proceeds out of the heart, an insult that can defile not only her but himself as well. But because of their interaction, what proceeds out the heart changes and healing occurs. This is our lesson today, we are forgiven for the evil intentions that come from our hearts but thank God that because of grace we can change those evil intentions for good. Our hearts can be harbors for love, peace, joy and a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. We just have to readjust how we see things, to see them as God does. My mother used to say that growing up she hated the idea of eating cornmeal mush. But when she sees things the way God can see things, she realizes that she may not like mush but she loves polenta.

So let us learn how to change our hearts. As the song says, “Get right with God and do it now. Get right with God, He will show you how, down at the cross, where he shed his blood, get right with God, get right, get right with God.” And never forget, if Jesus can learn…

Father's Day Sermon Union Church @ Bay Ridge

2010-06-20T19:24:00.001-04:00

Sermon inspired by a visit to my father....

Trusting You to Grow and Go

Happy Father’s Day.
On this day, my dear Lord, still our hearts. Let the Spirit’s voice guide us to what we need to hear from your word. Accept our humble request to have your words guide our hearts and minds. Amen

I say Happy Father’s Day but June is the month we celebrate many things. As a matter of fact there is a month to celebrate just about everything. Just to name a few June itself happens to celebrate:
Adopt A Shelter Cat Month
Audiobook Month
Children’s Awareness Month
Dairy Month
Dairy Alternative Month
Effective Communications Month
Entrepreneurs Do It Yourself Marketing Month
Fireworks Safety Month
GLBT Pride Month
Great Outdoors Month
International Men's Month
Lane Courtesy Month
National Accordion Awareness Month
National Black Music Awareness Month
National Bathroom Reading Month
National Candy Month
National Dairy Month
National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month
National Iced Tea Month
National Papaya Month (also, again in September)
National Rivers Month
National Rose Month
National Safety Month
National Seafood Month
National Soul Food Month
National Steakhouse Month
Perennial Gardening Month
Pharmacists Declare War on Alcoholism Month
Rebuild Your Life Month
Sports America Kids Month
Student Safety Month
Turkey Lover's Month
Potty Training Awareness Month

So fathers be honored that you are even remembered for a day in this crowded month of celebrations and awareness!!! Our own church, the PC USA has set aside this day as “Men of the Church Sunday”. Our denomination’s website, pcusa.org tells us “Men of the Church Sunday is set aside to recognize the gifts and contributions to ministry that men have made in every congregation and to give thanks for the witness that men make in the home, the workplace, community and church.” Very politically correct. Well a part of the logic is to be considerate of men who are not fathers in the church, to include the ministries of all men in the church of which fatherhood is one. And make no mistake about it parenting, fatherhood is a ministry.

I remember hearing once about a six year old boy who found out on the playground that his father was not his natural father. I was told that this young boy ran from the playground’s fields crying his eyes out. He was confused, scared; his whole world had been turned upside down. He felt as if he had lost any idea of who he was, where he belonged, who his people were so to speak. It is amazing the depth a six year old can feel in his moment of crisis. He ran to his grandmother’s house, where all of the family gathered in good times and bad.

When he ran through the front door his grandmother asked from the back kitchen, “Whose child is that coming in my house slamming my door?

He couldn’t speak. Between being out of breath from the running and the crying and at six not yet having the words to articulate what he wanted to say, he just ran to the kitchen and sat at the table crying.

“Child, what’s wrong with you?” his grandmother asked giving him a glass of milk she started to pour as he came through the door. “Drink this, now. Calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”

The milk was cool and felt good. His words finally came back to him and he said, “They told me on the playground that my dad is not my dad!”

Grandmother knew the secret would come out someday but did not expect it would come out this way. But she took the young boy by the hand and walked him to the living room. They sat down on the couch and she squeezed him tight and said, “Boy, don’t you go listening to what those kids say to you.” She sat him on her lap and looked into his eyes saying, “Just what do you think a father is? Those kids don’t know nothing about what a father is. They are just learning some gossip about what they think a father is. A father is someone that loves you, takes care of you when you are sick, puts a band aid on your knee when you fall, feeds you, goes to work for you, sits and watches those silly cartoons you like so much. A father is someone you can look to and know that no matter what he is gonna be there for you, even when you least expect it. Do you know anybody like that?”

The young boy looked up at her and finally found his smile, “Daddy?”

“That’s right baby, your daddy does all that for you and even more you don’t know about. If those kids on the playground told you that God didn’t love you like a father loves his children, would you be running in here carrying on like this?”
“No, ma’am”

“Your father chose to love you. When he asked to marry your mother he told her “I want to love this boy like he’s my own. He’s a part of you so he is a part of me. He didn’t have to do that you know. You are blessed child. You know who your father is. Now go on in the kitchen and let’s get some cookies for that milk you left on my table.”

As the grown man retold this story, I couldn’t help but think that’s how many people see God’s grace. God chooses to love us, no matter what. God is there for us even when we don’t know it. It certainly helps me pray the Lord’s Prayer in a different way when I say, “Our Father, who art in heaven….”

Jesus’ love manifests itself as a father’s love in our text today. Here we have a man filled with so many spirits it calls itself Legion. It is ironic that it chooses to name itself after a Roman military unit. A legion is about 2,000 soldiers left to keep the peace in Roman occupied territory. Luke’s audience would have heard that there were at least 2,000 demons inside this man. But Jesus goes to this man to reclaim him, to let him know that his father knows who he is. Jesus reclaims the man and lets him know that there is one who will always be there to say, “You are my very own, no matter what others may tell you.” Jesus reclaims this man without a home and says you have a home in me, you have a home in our father.

Can you imagine? Here is this naked, homeless man. When they try to handcuff him for his own safety, he breaks away and runs into the wilds. He is so displaced that the tombs are his shelter. He lives among the dead. Do you notice something different in this encounter that Jesus has with one who is possessed? This is one of the few instances, where the person has no one coming to Jesus on their behalf. In another encounter a father comes because the demons cause his son to go into seizures. But there is no one for this man. As a matter of fact the text tells us that this man did not live in a house and when he is freed from the demons Jesus tells him to “Return to your home”. The words for house and home are the same in this Lukan passage; oikos. The translation we read helps us to understand that there is a difference between a house and a home. For this unnamed man, a house is a place to live and a home is a place to belong. Oikos doesn’t just mean house or home. It symbolizes a whole way of living. Oikos, home or house, is the place where you belong, the place where you are among the people that claim you as their own, a place where everybody knows your name. So you see the man that lives underneath the demons is a lonely man, with no one to love and no one to love him. Until Jesus comes along….

Now I would be remiss if it didn’t tell you today that scholars also interpret this encounter politically. They say that this is a metaphor for how Jesus challenges the Roman Empire. They say that even the Roman Legions are afraid the Messiah and that Jesus will send them back to where they came. Back to where they have no real power, where they can’t steal from those they have conquered, back to where they can’t use and manipulate people as they will. Back to where they are the ones stolen from, where they are used and manipulated; back home. The demons asked not to be sent to the abyss but the abyss after all is, the home of the demon in ancient mythology. So Legion does not want to go home.

Scholars say that driving the demons into the unholy swine is an insult to Roman authority by this Jewish man named Jesus and that their swift demise in the sea is a threat by Jesus to the status quo. They say that is why the people are so afraid of Jesus and ask him to leave. It is a powerful interpretation of Jesus as a resistance leader against the Empire. And it has its place in church life, teaching us to always fight for what is right, address the powers that be, to be prophetic when we speak of the consequences of wrong doing. We can indeed speak up and let those people know that we are recognized as children of the Most High God and will torment until you leave the body of the innocents we are called to protect. Yes, I rather like this resistance interpretation. It gets me fired up!

But I can’t help but go back to this man possessed, this solitary tormented soul that in its most depraved condition finds a way to reach out to Jesus. My God, my God. What a blessed assurance that Jesus is indeed ours. You see I have no doubt that when we reach out to Jesus that Jesus will reach right back out and grab our hands and pull us up from the sinking sand. I have no doubt that Jesus will step out on land and meet us right where we are, just has he met this man from Gerasene. I have no doubt when we meet him there will be no need to speak for Jesus knows all about out troubles, and that he will guide till the day is done. You see there’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus, no not one, no not one. I have no doubt that when Jesus meets us he will see us as we are and command whatever is unclean to leave us.

But the thing is, and ah here’s the catch, we have to be the ones to come to Jesus. Just as this demoniac met Jesus and fell down before him we have to be the ones to come to Jesus in prayer and humility. Do you see how Jesus works in this text? There is a whole conversation going on that is not recorded here in Luke. Just like Elijah looked for God in the wind and the earthquake, so we concentrate on finding the power of God in the casting out of demons. But there is a conversation of sheer silence going on in this text. From the moment Jesus meets this “Gerasene Demoniac” he is in conversation with the man behind the demons. He is telling that man, “Hold on just a little while longer, everything will be alright.” He is telling that man, “Hold on, help is coming.” Like a nurse in triage Jesus is keeping the unrecognizable man in touch with reality, his identity. While the team of God the Father and the Holy Spirit work on detaching the demons, fixing what is wrong, Jesus is holding that man’s hand asking him, “What is your name? Who is your family? Do you now what time it is? Can you tell me who is the author and finisher of your faith? Do you recognize the Father in me?” Can you hear the silent conversation that Jesus is having with this man’s soul while all craziness goes on about them? You see that’s what happens if we just go to meet him. I’ll go even one further, all you have to do is turn your eyes upon Jesus. Just look toward him, think on him and he will meet you the rest of the way.

Now I know in this age of technology, psychiatry, psychology, pharmacology, neurology, typology and biology we have explanations for what was once considered demonic possession. But I tell you today Legion is alive and well. They are alive in our doubts, our fears, our misgivings, our hatreds, our inability to forgive. Those demons are alive when we roll over in bed on a Sunday morning rather than going to worship with our church family. Those demons are alive and well when we hold on to the very things that we say we trust God to handle. Those demons are alive and well when we can’t be honest with ourselves about our failings, our opportunities to grow.

So the demons are met, handled and down in the bottom of the sea. The people are afraid of what’s coming next and so they eagerly asked Jesus and his followers to get back on the boat they came on and go somewhere. As my mother says, “You don’t have to go home but you have to get up out of here!” But Luke leaves us with one more thing. He leaves us with a tender moment between Jesus and this man. After these things, there is an exchange between Jesus and this man that I see in my mind’s eye. (Improvise: Close your eyes and see. See the face, the pleading eyes welled with tears, the grateful spirit.)

But Jesus tells him to return home and declare how much God had done for you. And the man goes away, proclaiming throughout the city how much Jesus had done for him. This touches my heart. In the sheer silence of their conversation, Jesus knows this man better that any of the people who have watched him suffer all those years. Jesus trusts him to keep on growing, trusts him to go and witness, trusts him to spread the good news. How powerful that must have been to this man who for so long was neither clothed nor in his right mind. Jesus said to him, “I am trusting you to grow and go”.

You see on this day, the father’s day message is simple. Do like Jesus, meet the children of God you encounter as Jesus did this day. Don’t be afraid of the silent conversations that lets them know, “Hold on. Know that I am always here with you.” As children of God we all need to hear Jesus saying, “I am trusting you to grow and go.” This Father’s day, if someone asks your child, “Do you now anybody who believes in you like this?” May all God’s children look up and answer, “Daddy.”

I Will Always Be With You

2010-06-10T21:56:00.000-04:00

Always, Wanting Memories
“And remember, I am with you always to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b

“But…Jesus, you already left us once. Please, don’t leave us again, please,” someone must have been thinking. Traumatized once by the death of their loved one, here are the disciples once again bereft of the Beloved, bereft of a brother, bereft of Jesus. You see here in Matthew, the writer tends to the miracle of the resurrection beautifully. But that same writer doesn’t seem to know that much about the human heart. At least in the other gospel accounts of post resurrection, Jesus walks with his followers, he talks with them. At least in the other gospels he them, “you are my own.”
But not Matthew; no in Matthew only Mary and the other Mary are blessed with a face to face encounter with an angel, only Mary and the other Mary get to see Jesus. And what a time they have! It is Jesus who greets them. It’s not that he just says hello, but he greets them excitedly, with happiness, like long lost friends. He is glad to see them. I get a kind of sublime joy when myself I think about it. To be seen by Jesus. Oh, to live a life so well that when he sees me face-to-face he will smile at me like a long lost friend.
But in Matthew’s account Jesus does not go to the others. The others must come to him. After the resurrection, they rely on the word of two Mary’s and on a rumor spreading about city that that the tomb was empty because they stole Jesus’ body. But they get up and walk. They walk the 90 miles from the city of Jerusalem to Galilee. Something inside urges them to go, even those who don’t believe go. Some go in anticipation, some go to prove the believers wrong, some go because they have nothing left to do but go.
90 miles…they go on a ninety mile journey to see…well to see what? That is long walk to think, remember, to relive the teachings and the miracles. It gives them time to think of the little things, big things. Things like how much you’ve grown in 3 years. Thinking on the things that made you laugh, made you dance, made you sing. Those moments of listening to Jesus on the temple steps, next to the columns when amongst the crowd, when it felt like he was only talking to you. Makes you think of how it all started when this man looked you in the eyes and said, “Follow me.” It is a long walk.
Have you ever embarked on a journey like that? I don’t mean a 90-mile walk, but a journey with the memories of Jesus? Walking around this city I am reminded of Matthew’s Jesus. In those times we stand alone amidst the concrete, amidst the people, and we want to be Christ’s messengers of the good news. And yet…and yet there are times when we look around us and wonder, “Where are you Jesus? How am I supposed to do this without you?” It can be so overwhelming that at times you may find yourself just sitting on a park bench and, wondering how to do this work to which we have been called.
I mean, we’ve spent time with Jesus, heard of his stories, learned his lessons, read of his miracles. But then for some reason, as you sit there wanting memories to teach you, as you bow your head in prayer and a tear falls from your eye, it hits you. Jesus, is sitting right there beside you, around you, in your very heart. You realize that Jesus is the voice that whispers all you need to hear. And as you feel the Spirit near to you as your very breath, you start to see the beauty world with your own eyes. You start to see the world as Christ saw it when he walked this earth. He saw the best it could be. Ours is a world that is struggling to love each other into right being. We have been commissioned to do great things by Jesus, if we can just put into practice the law he gave us…love one another. Wanting to live in that memory helps us see the world just a bit differently as a place with so many blessed possibilities!! As we continue to reflect, may it be so.

Video is on facebook

enjoy

2010-05-01T19:22:00.002-04:00

http://unionindialogue.org/hearnowinthebody/

2010-05-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

treetops dancing with slate roof brushing seductively against the stone wall oh the dance, the seduction of spring i'm here but you can't catch me--but entice me--chilly one morning, rainy the next, promise of warm sunshine by weeks end Spring...think i'm falling for you

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

2010-04-07T06:41:00.001-04:00

S-Curve

2010-02-02T22:58:00.000-05:00

In North Adams, MA there is a one of the most beautiful spots in the world. Many of us have seen it on calendars during the picture for the month of September. The spot looks out over the valley beneath Mount Greylock. There is a white steepled New England church that rises just beyond the multi-colored treetops. Oranges are spectacular, reds are resilient, yellows are zipping through the scene.
When you drive that road, you get to a point and see a restaurant in view. Hairpin curve....that is the s curve in the road that turns you around so that you can keep ascending the mountain. But that restaurant has a parking lot where you can stop to just say, "I am now in that calendar shot!!!"
Nothing really profound here, just stopping to notice that I am in the s curve of the hairpin right now! What a view....but wow, look up, look up, there is the mountaintop. But there is so far to go and so much to see in between!

Sonnet for Sermon "Doing The Love of Christ"

2009-08-29T19:46:00.003-04:00

How do we love Christ? In the simplest ways.
When we honor the world as our neighbor.
We live into the light of love’s labor,
When social outcast feels our tight embrace.
To share with all the valued gift of grace
Starts to dismantle soul killing sabers--
Poverty, hatred, things used ‘gainst neighbor
To overshadow the love of Christ’s face.
Now is the time to end all human lies.
Remembering the hope of bread and grape
We feed the world with truth at any price
We are charged to love and cannot escape
Strength comes to us from cross’s sacrifice
Here ministry begins to take its shape.
-Derrick McQueen, August 29, 2009
In response to Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet #43

Liturgy for St. James Presbyterian August 30, 2009

2009-08-28T08:22:00.006-04:00

Sermon Title "Doing the Love of Christ"

Scripture Lessons

Epistle James 1:17-27

Gospel Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23

Call Worship

L: “Arise, my beloved come and give thanks for the Love of God.”

C: This is the call of Jesus, for us to worship on this and every day.

L: The roses have blossomed, see them through the window.

C: Jesus stands as one who watches over us through the lattice.

L: The voice of the turtledove is heard in the morning, see the fig tree bloom!

C: The time of singing has come, let us lift our voices unto the Lord.

L: Come let us worship God.

C: Come everyone, to the Love of God

Inspired by Song of Solomon 2:8-13

Prayer of Adoration

You are the God of the mountain, the God of the city, the God of the valley, the God of the Waters. How lovely is your presence in this place. Your promises of love for us are proven in that you gave your only Son for the forgiveness of our sins. How awesome to think on your grandeur and yet how humbling to think how close you want to be to each and every one of us. You are God now, henceforth and forever more and for that we say Hallelujah!

Call to Confession

We sing your praises, we dance to your song. And yet we still find that our hearts are troubled. Quieted, we come to understand that you yearn to hear our confessions. And so we take this time to examine our hearts. Hear the voices of our hearts as we come to you in prayer:

Confession

Loving God, we pick a rose yet complain about the thorns, we eat the bounty of the summer farms yet complain about the rains, we have the chance to worship you and yet sometimes we just want to sleep in. When we are frustrated with the ills of the world we often speak about it but seldom do we pray. We want to love the world with all the love you have put in our hearts but often hold a portion it back. We are learning, Lord, and ask humbly for your patience as we learn to walk in your grace. Amen

Silent Confession

Assurance of Pardon

God speaks to us. “Yet you picked the rose and loved me. You savored the summer bounty and loved me. In your times of struggle to do the right thing, you think of me and love me. And you still walk with me when the road seems dreary and in this act you love me.” God knows our hearts and loves us into who we are meant to be. This is the promise of Jesus Christ.

2009-03-28T00:32:00.001-04:00

A TAMFS Prayer for the Presbyterian Church

(Offered by Derrick McQueen)

Dearest love my God, I had a dream about you the other day. You had prepared a banquet feast
in the middle of one of your warm and inviting fields.
Your smile shined the sun's beam upon my face
and I could not help but close my eyes
as your warmth washed over me. Looking over the horizon

there were people cresting the hill

holding hands and laughing,

embracing and inviting.

They had all come to sit at the welcome table.
As we stood behind our chairs at the table
You smiled and a tear of joy rested in the corner of Your eye.
We worshipped You because of your love for us.
We sang, we danced, we heard your word
Proclaimed from each and every heart.
What a wonderful gift you give us with life, father God.
What a powerful command to love and be well
you instill in us, mother God.
As we spoke of our joys and concerns
we turned to comfort and console one another;
it was a wonderful kind of peace.
And then there was Jesus, arms outstretched.
He said,

"I'm so glad you all could make it.
I'm so glad you all are home."

As I opened my eyes I noticed the tears had soaked my pillow.
And as my mind-place settled itself
outside of the dream world,
my voice exclaimed, "My church!"

Wonderful God we thank you for the promise
of what your church can be.
We see the open table
where the gifts of Christ are to be shared with one another.

We are grateful that we live in such a time as this

when the home of Jesus Christ is alive

and the Spirit really does open the door

for all to enter in.

We pray this and everyday that You will reveal to us, oh God,
the ways in which we can make the church of Your dreams,
the dream of our reality:
One church family of believers who love you and each other
in every healthy way.
A family where gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, straight--
where all of Your children sing together in harmony,

"We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
And we pray that all unity will one day be restored.
And they'll know we are Christians by our love,
yes by our love.
They will know we are Christians by our love."

It is with this love that we come to you
with a request upon our lips:
We ask you for courage, strength, dignity
and that the blessed assurance of your call
will allow all of your LBGTQII candidates
to continue to want to share Our God-given ministry
with the church.

Help us to stand strong as we journey along the path

of Inquirer to Candidate,

from Candidate to Certified,

and from Certified to Called.

We know that in your Wisdom, Sophia, all is possible.
So we ask You to prepare Your children for service
in the surety that our time has come.
And while we are readied, prepare your church.
Allow the votes as they proceed from Presbytery to Presbytery
to speak your truth.
Let all see that the tide of conversation has changed
and so the time has come. We are ready to serve, let it be your will. We ask all of this because you love us.
We ask you for a whole church
because we know that you heal brokenness.
We ask you all of this because we love you and our neighbors--
even those that would knock us down--
as you have commanded.
We love them because we love the fullness of creation
in which you have formed each and every one of us.
Because we love ourselves as you have made us,
we give the purest honor to you Oh God our blessed Creator. I dreamed of you the other day... In your precious Holy names we pray now and forever. Amen.

Poverty Initiative Immersion Blog

2009-01-19T20:45:00.003-05:00

If We Go Backwards, Is It Time To Start Over?

It has been said that a society can be judged by how it treats its people that are assumed to have the least in life. During this Poverty Initiative Immersion Course I have once again been reminded of a forgotten root in the degradation of our society; how we treat one another. Growing up at about 8 years old I remember feeling a twinge of shame when I found out that my Auntie’s job was as a domestic worker for the “Judge” in my hometown. And when I found out in my early teens that my great-grandmother had been a domestic worker for one of the most powerful men in the transportation world, it was a final step in the realization of how pervasive domestic work was in my family’s history.

By the way that shame didn’t last for long because when Auntie came home, she came home from work like anybody else. She was good at what she did and was a sought after employee in town, so the Judge did whatever it took to keep her in his employ. Auntie owned the home she lived in and shared so freely with all of our family. Auntie always had food in the cupboard and refrigerator. Auntie always gave one tenth of her earnings to the church. Auntie always had dignity enough to love me like I was a child of God’s promise.

My great-grandmother had retired by the time we visited her in New York City. She had followed her employer to New York City. She was so valued that she had an apartment in New York, a home and property in Jacksonville, Florida. She was considered a member of the family with much to contribute not only to the household affairs but the upbringing of socially active rich children. I remember her telling me the story of how those adult 30 something children cried for scores of minutes in the train station as she made her way back to Jacksonville. At least in New York they visited her up in Harlem every week.

These two women in my life taught me at an early age that a job well done is a respectable job. They taught me how to walk out the front door to work with dignity and back into the home with that dignity still intact. I have cleaned the toilet bowls of a bed and breakfast. As an actor I have done living history tours of the African American input to the history of a tourist Victorian seaside resort. I have seen how many children have acquired a college education on the work of household management.

So how does that relate to Poverty in the US in 2009? Well, let’s put it in perspective. My Auntie and great-grandmother were given a fair wage. They had contracted hours that were respected by their employers. They had incredible health care. They had paid vacation. They were considered valued and vital to smooth operations of the households in which they worked. For both of them, I remember how they asserted that their families came first. And they always, always had Sunday off to go to church.

So why is it that in the year 2009 Domestic Workers United has to fight for these basic rights? What happened in our society that experience of my Aunt and great-grandmother became the freakish exception rather than the norm? Is it because although Black, they were born in this country? Has prejudice made it alright to mistreat people who serve in positions of domesticity today? Is it outright racism? Is it the devaluation of a person because they work for people rather than this corporate entity most people think they work for? A corporate entity in which a few gross the top dollars? So who exactly do those who hire service and domestic workers actually think they are working for?!

I have been moved by the struggles we have linked with during this immersion. But my heart aches because at the root of so much of what we have seen is the disrespect of the value another human being’s life. From the lack of clean air spaces in the Bronx to remembering the attack on the homeless village in Thomkins Square Park in 1988—why is it still okay to sacrifice so many for the well being of a few? Yes, it’s time to stop all this talk about lowering poverty, thereby putting value on who deserves to eat, drink water, have basic rights for proper working conditions. The only paradigm that will work is a new one. The social movement must be to end poverty, period. Each immersion, rather each day I walk out into the world I see this more clearly.

Note to a Friend on the Eve of Inauguration

2009-01-19T20:40:00.007-05:00

I hope this time of American symbolism of hope rocks your world and lights a fire in your soul. Even though there is much work to be done it is so nice to be able to ride on this crest of truly American joy and goodwill for the most part.

I hope this inauguration inspires you and that you can take a quiet moment to close your eyes and dream a dream that you never think will come true. For that's what's happening tomorrow. Dreams that people dared to dream against all possibility are happening beyond their wildest expectation. The slaves that built the White House can finally rest in peace. For into each piece of wood, each stone hewn for that home they put the dreams of their children, and children's children. That's the kind of belief in hope we have to find in ourselves.It is a good time to love you my friend, for "We are the ones we have watied for."

The love and peace of a thousand dreams to you,

Derrick

To clarifiy

2008-11-29T22:31:00.002-05:00

The entry below is in response to a friend of mine truly trying to understand why the defeat of Prop 8 in CA drew such notice. He asked in all sincerity, "Why do they want to be married?" He mentioned that even he wasn't so sure if this marriage thing, esp. via the church was truly a valid idea. Especially since most Prostestant churches reject marriage as a sacrament (the only two being communion and baptism.).

After an initial conversation, these thoughts ensued.

Peace

Answer to "Why do they want to marry?" 11/21/08

2008-11-29T22:24:00.002-05:00

As I said, just wanted to pass along a few thoughts about this marriage thing.
I think the very real need to be "married" goes beyond the concept of equal rights under the law or from another perspective forcing same sex marriages on a society that might not be ready for it. Your question was why do some feel they want or even need this so badly? Dealing with the politics and church political ramifications of it are very real but I feel they are a smoke screen for the real discussion as to "why?"
I can tell you that in realizing and/or one's "orientation" there is a struggle no matter who you are. It is a psychological process that isolates and one cannot imagine that anyone else has ever gone through what you are going through at that moment. Things to face are rejection of parents-either lovingly or violently (lovingly="we understand and love you but what did we do wrong, we will never have grandkids, our lives are forever changed now, etc." while violently=how could you do this to us, if you can live the right way get out, why did God have this abomination come from me, that is a disgusting, depraved community and deserve whatever it gives you, etc".)
Despite the ultimate reactions, the truth of the matter is that the training and ideals of family (mostly heteronormative ideals) are ingrained into LGBTQ folk just as they are into hetero folk. We've all been groomed to find partnership in life, become family with that person and that the final true public/spiritual testament to that love is to be married in the eyes of God and a company assembled. Heterosexuals have a choice of whether or not this is necessary for their lives. Heteros have the privelege (damn Union word slipped out) of whether or not to be married, whether or whether or not to have children, etc. The point is that the common starting point for us all is that ideal ingrained into us from childhood-marriage.

LGBTQ life at least in regards to these proscribed ideals, is full of personal loss. Identity has to be reformed and all of those cultural/religious aspirations either must be given up or somehow redefined to match the identity that has been shaped for you with the identity that has been shaped by you in no small part by your sexual affinity. It is here where I think the question "why marriage" can be answered. It seems to me that identity is, especially once we realize that we have some say in our own identity formation, something we cling to for dear psychological and spiritual life. The less we have to shed from those core years of identity formation the more secure we are in growing into our own person. Our choices become clearer because our foundation is strong.

In LGBTQ identity formation, those building blocks that are cultural, familial, and societal are the hardest to reframe because our input on their importance in our lives has been so limited. It is like the game Jenga-trying to build an identity while with each round of life you realize the pieces of your identity that culture and society takes away from your foundation. You can still grow and be strong and find where the new pieces fit but you are forever aware of the precarious nature of your identity because those foundational pieces like marriage, civil rights, human rights-all the things we grow up expecting-- are slowly being removed because of your sexual affinity/orientation. It's not even that it is a malicious thing. It's just the way things are set up. I think marriage represents much of this foundational identity formation. Now that there is even the remotest of possibilities of putting this foundational piece of identity formation back in place, people are reclaiming the piece.

Of course, there is the issue of whether or not these social constructs cause more damage than good. But at this stage of the game it doesn't matter, that debate will go on much ad infinitum. The fact is that these constructs are in place and until equality exists the place of conversation is not a level playing field. Strangely enough it seems to me the fight for marriage equality is more of a fight for a place of privelege from which one can choose whether or not to marry. That's my personal opinion, but it seems to me a perverse use of luxury. But then again, isn't so much of what we fight for a perverse pursuit of luxury?

hold go stop

2008-07-28T00:45:00.002-04:00

yesternow floats like cotton from the rooftops
into here
morrownow drifts just out of reach off rooftops
out to there
inbetween rests the all

asking neither to be born nor to live
answering either the yes or the no
at times it seems so easy and complicated
the systems of it all

hearing the noises of the streets death
restless and sleepless because of the earths moaning below
building the next incarnation of its existence
without the choking interference of its partners

Divorce is on the table
we don’t get to keep the house
but we do get the children
having no place to go

in the loudness of this empty silence
the stillness of this dizzying place
nothing to hold onto
nothing to let go
stop

hear the tolling
clear the air for breathing
wash the water for bathing
dream in sleep for wakefulness

Psalm of Lament of the Adopted Stranger

2008-07-25T18:31:00.000-04:00

1Why bring me here, O God
To dwell in the midst of these?
2Having carried me away, from land to distant land,
Bearing the mark of resident alien.

3How I long to remember the tastes
Of the pomegranates of home,
4Dream of the refreshing pools of the land of my ancestors,
But the beloved people of home, they cast me out.
5I am the beloved reviled, celebrated as one whose songs of pain
Gladden the hearts of many who hear.
Selah

6Yet in my abiding as resident stranger,
YOU HIDE FROM ME!
7Leaving me to find food among the fallen, rotted fruit
In the vineyard’s row.
8My flesh has become accustomed
To the chilled emptiness of the sun’s retreat.
9There is none to love
In the solitary place.
10I have forgotten the hands of human embrace
And my heart cries out to you, O God.
11But why do you not hear?
What is the reason for this scorn?
Selah

12I believe you are my resting place;
Can you find rest in me?
13Reach into this strange land and pluck their hearts with songs-
The ones who dwell here.
14That I may sing at the welcome table of your righteousness,
The songs of joy and thanksgiving.
15Bring the warmth of the sun’s light upon my face
That I may feel your presence among your people.
16I beseech you, O God, visit me
In the wind, the rain, the moment of your desire.
17Blessed God, just make your way to me.

In Transit Ruminations

2008-07-24T09:43:00.000-04:00

Fitting

The bough of the crook
of the lover’s arm, crease of hip

Speaks belonging in a way
no gift of love words can capture

There is the desire of the souls’
truth in that body bend

Quiets the mind, races the
heart, creates the unknown
deep in the core

Trying love on for size
to the radiator’s knock and hiss-
As the busy world outside
is hushed or disappears?

Branch of Mid-Winter

The dry branch bending in strength
to winter winds
Reminds of fragile strength
Some call love, or life
or joy or pain or death.

Each touch a fragile sense of strength
in desire, in longing, in risk of lasting.

Fluttering wildly in this elemental
phenomena

Fighting fiercely to understand
the sensation:
Being stretched to straining,
twisting as if poised to snap in two or three-
instead snapping back – whole

In too the life, because of the hidden green pulsing
still, oozing alive out and in spring bloom.

Just wanted to say

2008-07-23T16:24:00.000-04:00

I've been intrigued by the desire to create a blog so just went ahead and did it. Hopefully this will be a space where I can flesh out some ideas, talk about the sublime intensity of life or maybe just think about the simple things in lfe. Those simple things that bring a smile to our faces or our hearts build up strength to face the things that cause our hearts unease.

There is a song with a chorus that says "If I can help somebody as they walk along the way, then my living will not be in vain." Day by day I try, day by day I hope to encourage someone else to try. I don't know who cares to read these musings, but I am grateful to any who do.